In case you don't know, school goes back next week.  Thoughts about this in my house tend to range from “I’m organised, my holiday homework is done, I just need to sort my pencil case out” to “how am I going to catch the bus when I’m not up until after 12?”  My youngest was happy about going to school last week and this week he is concerned about not having close friends in his class.
 
And me, I’m not really looking forward to the running around this will bring.  It’s been lovely these last few weeks to have everyone settled and cocooned at home.  Minimal demands on time has brought with it an increased calm and family connection.  The other night I even heard my older two have a conversation, with each other, together, that didn’t end in yelling…..
 
The challenge is how to build on this calm when life returns to what can be a treadmill of stress and expectation. The following are five things to consider.

1.     Think about your family scheduling.  Are you and your children doing too much?  Allow for down time where everyone can stop and just do what they feel like..

2.     Make family meals a priority.  In our home it is really the only time when everyone (who is home) sits together and has a chance to talk or listen, to touch base with each other.  We even turn off the television!  

It doesn’t happen all the time.  Quite frankly there are times when I don’t want to sit and talk to anyone, but because of the expectation it is sometimes the kids who say mum come and sit at the table.

I would also love to say that our gatherings are based around a wonderful home cooked meal…but with my cooking skills the food is generally secondary to just making the effort of sitting around the table together.

In the last post we looked at noticing how we were feeling and what the feeling looked like.  The colour, shape, texture.  I'm wondering what, if any, thoughts you noticed.  Maybe they went along the lines of "I'm feeling over this; I wish I felt different", or, when feeling happy - "it would be great to feel like this more."

Our mind keeps up a constant commentary, like having the radio on in the background.  It seeks to interpret, understand, and scan for threats to keep us safe.  When we stop and bring our awareness to  it, it can be very interesting to hear.  If you tune in and notice, what is your mind saying - about you, and about the people around you, when you are not listening?  

Be Bold is a mantra that reflects the courage it takes to continue to fully participate in life.  It challenges us to to step up on the days when our minds want to step away.  In working with clients I talk about using A BOLD approach.  This stands for Awareness, Breathing, taking Ownership, Letting go and Doing.  

if you are curious and would like to learn more about this approach you are welcome to follow my new few posts and try the experience.

I find it scary in our society that more and more couples are getting together and choosing not to have children.  The census done in 2011 (results of the latest census are not yet available - and maybe a little problematic) show that the proportion of couples without children has increased (28% in 1976 compared to 37.8% in 2011).  This means that increasingly our society is being made of up of adults who don't experience living with children on a regular basis and it is debatable how much they think about the impact their decisions make on the upcoming generation.

So not too get too political this early in the morning, I would like to draw their attention to a few things they are missing out on.  Not all parents experience all these things, and depending on mood I could easily run a case for why not to have kids, but I am feeling loving this morning.  So to make a start - as a mum the magical feeling of your baby growing inside of you, watching your stomach move, feeling the kicks.  Birth, their first cry, and first cuddle.  Your baby smiling at you and laughing. Their first steps. The first time they say mum or dad.  Feeling their first tooth come through.  Sending them off to school.  The delight on their face when they read to you.  Homemade mother's day cards.  The pride they experience at improving and showing off the positive effort comments on their school reports.  Them making you a cup of tea, or the first time they make a meal.  The realisation that you are enjoying having an intelligent conversation with them.  Hugs, nighttime cuddles and just the pure joy of watching your child grow and develop in front of you.

Through work, volunteering, running the house, speaking with friends the care and growth of our children, all our children is there, in the back of my mind, the decisions I make.  It puts a perspective that helps anchor my morality, my spirituality and my own growth as a human being.

What do you think is the best thing about being a parent?

We are to a large extent a product of our environment.  This means what we listen to, watch and read, and who we speak to all impact on what we think and how we feel.  Think about the type of people you would invite into your house, the people you want to be friends with, the people you want your children to be friends with.  Are they loving, inspirational, kind, generous, warm hearted?  These are the people you want around you and your children.  

One way of finding these people is in choosing carefully what we read. Children's books are a wonderful source of positive thinking, of overcoming challenges, living with differences, friendship and emotional management. It can be harder as our children get older to find fiction that fits this criteria.  But there are still some wonderful young adult and adult books out there.  As part of the Positive Young Minds community I invite you to share some of your favourite books.  

Anyone and any age can contribute. Your book suggestion will include the following: title, author, rating out of five for enjoyment, brief plot synopsis. Criteria - the book must reflect positive values. It may have a character who is inspiring, or a plot that promotes gratitude, friendship, love; it may make you laugh. Post your reviews below. I will later upload these to a separate website page. If you wish to contribute but be anonymous you can email me your review on youngminds.psychology@gmail.com.
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Giraffes Can't Dance.

We are to a large extend a product of our environment.  This means what we listen to, watch and read, and who we speak to all impact on what we think and how we feel.  Think about the type of people you would invite into your house, the people you want to be friends with, the people you want your children to be friends with.  Are they loving, inspirational, kind, generous, warm hearted?  These are the people you want around you and your children.  

One way of finding these people is in choosing carefully what we read. Children's books are a wonderful source of positive thinking, of overcoming challenges, living with differences, friendship and emotional management. It can be harder as our children get older to find fiction that fits this criteria.  But there are still some wonderful young adult and adult books out there.  As part of the Positive Young Minds community I invite you to share some of your favourite books.  

Anyone and any age can contribute. Your book suggestion will include the following: title, author, rating out of five for enjoyment, brief plot synopsis. Criteria - the book must reflect positive values. It may have a character who is inspiring, or a plot that promotes gratitude, friendship, love; it may make you laugh. Post your reviews below. I will later upload these to a separate website page. If you wish to contribute but be anonymous you can email me your review on youngminds.psychology@gmail.com.

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​This is one of my favourite books. Everytime I read it it moves me. Gerald discovers that is Ok to be different, in fact it is joyous to be different. A wonderful story to read to children primary school aged and below.