Test anxiety at school is common. However, most markings and assessments are conducted privately. No one else except the examiner can see what you are writing on your English essay. And they do it that away from prying eyes. In contrast, some activities, and subjects involve public assessment: class presentations, hands-on tasks such as cooking and art, or a stage performance. Furthermore, in performing arts and class presentations the spotlight can be on just one person. If we judge school success by how often students find their spark and confidently explore their talents, the demands of the spotlight create a complex layer. For students contemplating undertaking subjects in which they are publicly reviewed, such as in the performing arts, they can be caught in the juxtaposition of choosing to do a subject that they love, but also one that can bring overwhelming stress due to the potential for social judgement. This article shares the viewpoint of one student in relation to music performance anxiety. It also makes some suggestions for you on how to manage the ongoing parental battle of how hard you 'should' push to help your child find and develop their spark. Choosing subjects at school is fraught for students with weighing their interests, what is needed to follow career pathways, and the extent of student insight into their own capacity and capability. A Student's Personal Experience with VCE Music The following student’s experience, which they shared as part of the 1000 Voices Project, highlights the challenges that taking up a performing arts subject can create. To achieve in this subject you have to battle with one of the most common fears children have at school - performing in front of others and being judged on that performance. Completing VCE music and all the performance components was incredibly stressful for me. A combination of class performances (with peer and teacher comments afterwards) and performance evenings had me feeling like I wasn’t good enough and brought on anxiety attacks. The impact of music performance expectations Whilst some students revel in the attention that being in the spotlight provides, using their adrenalin from their stress response like rocket fuel, for others the excess energy is not as easily garnered. Self-Screening. And then some students have self-screened early on in their school years. They may have loved performing at primary school where expectations tend to be age realistic. However, they don’t choose music as a subject, although they are talented, because when they compare themselves to others they judge themselves lacking. It’s safer to choose a maths or a science subject that are looked on more favourably by higher education and non-Arts focused peers. Demanding School Expectations. Whereas the school anxiety above is a result of judgement, another source of anxiety and stress in music programs for exceptionally talented students can come from school expectations. If you are a high performer public performance is expected, often many public performances, which can take away from the joy of playing/singing, and make it harder to find time for other subjects and interests. When School Finishes - What Comes Next? Some students having found their spark will run with it after school and keep performing, find work in the industry or go on to further studies. For some, the interest disappears. Either personal or public expectations during their school years result in extinguishing the spark. Lack of community opportunities can mean there is no pathway to continue pursuing their musical interests once they leave high school. It’s safer to choose a maths or a science subject that are looked on more favourably by higher education and non-Arts focused peers. What can schools do to reduce the impact of performance anxiety Schools can and do provide accommodation for students with chronic anxiety such as performing only in front of their assessor and not their peers, needing to produce fewer performance pieces, more time, and/or breaks. However, the performance itself remains challenging. And it leaves questions Is it enough? Can we do better? What support is provided for students undertaking VCE music to manage performance anxiety? When would be the best time at school to recognise and support students to manage their performance anxiety? Some schools insist on public speaking throughout every year of school and normalise the stress this creates. Still, it’s relatively easy for students to be ‘sick’ on these days, or battle through without growing from the experience. Experience needs appropriate scaffolding and support for it to be favourable, not traumatic. A key strategy identified in research into post-secondary music study is giving students the opportunity to write down their stressful and anxious thoughts and feelings, this may or may not be appropriate given the age and mental health status of the student. Journalling, or written expression of an inner world, is a wonderful therapeutic strategy. However, if this is a new strategy for students, care needs to be taken. And any type of intervention for a student with chronic anxiety needs to be conducted under supervision of of school or independent mental health professsionals. Experience needs appropriate scaffolding and support for it to be favourable, not traumatic. How you can help your child manage Performance Anxiety and explore their spark One of the many questions parents struggle with is how do I know when to encourage/keep pushing my child to do something they don’t want to do, but I know they like it/are good at it? It’s a great question. And you will not always get it right. (I can testify to this with three children and 1,000s of clients). Push too hard and the child may start hating the activity. Don’t push enough and they can miss out on opportunities to find their spark. Below are three strategies that can help. but first, check in with where your child is at along the NEON pathway. Tick off the four steps: Noticing - Can my child identify and name their feeling as anxiety? Empathy - Do they feel heard and understood? Ownership - Do they accept that this feeling is a part of them, and that's OK? Navigating - have their needs been met so that they are open enough to participate in a strategy for working out the problem? When these four steps are ticked off, this helps your child access the rational part of the brain, what I call their Calm Dynamic Mind. In this space they can move from 'I don't want to do it' to "this is what is making it hard for me to do it'. Whenever you are working through the ‘to push or not to push’ question and come up against resistance, go back to the NEON pathway to make sure your child is feeling heard. Check in, validate and normalise the feelings and thoughts that are coming up. (If you get stuck here and don't seem to be making progress, I'm here to help.) 1. The magic wish question.The magic wish question allows your child to come up with a response that is close to what they would really like to do, but may not be able to envisage due to the fog of anxiety. To give it a go it's as simple as saying - If I could wave my magic wand and take away all the worry about trying out for the school play/choosing music as a subject/ standing for school council etc…. Would you like to do it? Depending on their age, you could make or draw a magic wand, use a prop as a wand, even put a fairy crown on their head! You are accessing their imagination...and even older children can get a kick out of this approach. A "no" might mean they’ve lost interest, or have decided they don’t like it. At this point checking in as to why they don’t like it is important. If it’s because it just seems too hard they may doubt their ability to improve and not know how to cope with this uncertainty - yet another way anxiety is the gift that keeps on giving. 2. Investigate the worries Grab a large piece of paper. Brainstorm all the possible stress points related to doing the thing. Ask your child to rate how large each stress point is. Look at the biggest ones. Decide if these are points that can be supported/modified/scaffolded, or ones that need a stress management tool. Make the changes required or upskill your child accordingly so that these stress points become small rocks rather than big boulders. If the rocks are just too big, this is an indication to seek some professional help. It's Ok not to be able to sort it out yourself. If School Anxiety is ongoing support is important. 3. Remind your child why they want to so this thing. Is this something your child wants to do, not just something you want them to do. If all the impetus is coming from you, you have a lower chance of your child being willing to tolerate the discomfort that doing 'the thing' creates. For example, if the magic wish question had revealed that your child would love to learn how to play the piano if they didn't have to do so much practice, revisit why they wanted to learn to play in the first place. Help them see the link between practice and enjoyment. Connecting and strengthening what you value about an activity is a key to motivation to overcome discomfort. Connecting and strengthening what you value about an activity is a key to motivation to overcome discomfort. In summary.... Any of the above strategies by themselves can help you learn more about the nature of your child's stress and anxiety, and identify the barriers between them and their spark. You may be able to work through some of these barriers through the NEON pathway, or through support, collection of facts, problem solving, and/or acceptance and distress tolerance.
Take yourself back and reflect on the student who shared their story and spoke of the 'unending support', and the push they received from the adults in their life, so that they could try their best and be proud of their achievements in doing a subject in an area that they loved. It's not an easy journey. In lots of ways school stress and anxiety can be truly horrific. Support, understanding and encouragement to pursue their spark matters. Chat soon Kim I am dedicated to supporting you and your child in the their school years so they can find their spark and experience school success. You are welcome to contact me through a phone call - 0408533515, or book an appointment directly.
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Disclaimer* These articles are provided by Kim Ross, Psychologist for general information and education . They are not designed to be used for therapy.. If you are experiencing stress please contact your GP or mental health professional.
AuthorKim Ross is an Online Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds and Private Practice Sustainability. |