Helping your child step over the threshold into their Calm Dynamic mind.
Your child can identify they are worried, they can communicate their stress, you are in a space of calm and they are ready to move into a calm space where they can think clearer, problem solve, engage in their learning and make decisions. Your child is now on the threshold of the Calm Dynamic Mind. It may have been a quick process to get here, or it may have been a long one….
It's time to step over the threshold, and you can help them NAVIGATE the last step by giving them opportunities and options as to what they may need.
In this space you can help your child choose from various options to lower their anxiety enough to step into their Calm Dynamic. The Navigate step is the pre-Calm Dynamic state, in here your child is ready to do that thing that we know can carry them into clearer thinking and active calm space - the breathing, the movement, the organising.
If you've ever tried to tell an angry child to breath and wondered why it hasn't worked, it's because you've skipped ahead a few steps. First comes the Notice, then the Empathy, the Ownership and now you're here in the Navigate step where you can encourage them to breath and they'll do it.
Your child may show you they are ready to engage in 'calming' or regulating activities in various ways:
The way they show you will depend on a range of factors including their age, developmental stage, language ability, likes and dislikes, and sensory preferences.
Remember, You're Not Alone. Helping your child through school anxiety can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to go it alone. The NEON Pathway is a great starting point, and you can make an appointment at any time.
It's time to step over the threshold, and you can help them NAVIGATE the last step by giving them opportunities and options as to what they may need.
In this space you can help your child choose from various options to lower their anxiety enough to step into their Calm Dynamic. The Navigate step is the pre-Calm Dynamic state, in here your child is ready to do that thing that we know can carry them into clearer thinking and active calm space - the breathing, the movement, the organising.
If you've ever tried to tell an angry child to breath and wondered why it hasn't worked, it's because you've skipped ahead a few steps. First comes the Notice, then the Empathy, the Ownership and now you're here in the Navigate step where you can encourage them to breath and they'll do it.
Your child may show you they are ready to engage in 'calming' or regulating activities in various ways:
- They may stop crying
- They may take themselves to their room to finish calming down
- They may start to talk to you without being defensive
- They may ask for your help
- They may show you a drawing of how they are feeling, or share their writing
The way they show you will depend on a range of factors including their age, developmental stage, language ability, likes and dislikes, and sensory preferences.
Remember, You're Not Alone. Helping your child through school anxiety can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to go it alone. The NEON Pathway is a great starting point, and you can make an appointment at any time.
If you've ever tried to tell an angry child to breath and wondered why it hasn't worked, it's because you've skipped ahead a few steps.
What else does my child need so that they can access their Calm Dynamic and get to the clear thinking bit?
It will depend on how severe your child's school anxiety is. A quick example was seen in the young child who was able to re-engage in school with the touch of a young classmate, slipping into a learning state easily without requiring anything else. For an adolescent experiencing prolonged stress caused by ongoing learning difficulties, releasing tension and stress may be best served by a physical gym session.
Encourage or help your child develop a menu of options with activities of several types, intensities, times and portability that they can choose from. Different categories of calming strategies include:
That's take a closer look at some of the strategies found in these three categories.
Encourage or help your child develop a menu of options with activities of several types, intensities, times and portability that they can choose from. Different categories of calming strategies include:
- Body-based
- Cognitive-based
- Interpersonal-based
That's take a closer look at some of the strategies found in these three categories.
Body-Based Calming Strategies
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High intensity
Going for a run Dancing Strength work Lower intensity Progressive Muscle Relaxation Yoga Singing Breathing Blowing Bubbles |
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Cognitive-Based Calming Strategies
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Cognitive-Based
Listening to music Colouring in/drawing Reading Journalling Meditating |
Interpersonal/Social Based Calming Strategies
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Interpersonal/Social Based
Talking with friends Talking with school counsellor/teacher Playing with pets |
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Be careful you don't want your child to fall asleep
If you are practicing relaxation to calm down before going to sleep, falling asleep is a great outcome.
However, if you are wanting your child alert, and thinking clearly ie in their Calm Dynamic state, you don't want them falling asleep.
The Calm Dynamic mind is not just about relaxing. It's about engagement and action. So, whilst the activities on the menu can be used to relax and soothe the aim in this situation is to help your child access their calm state. You want them to think clearer: lifting the cloud and weight of anxiety enables them to tune in, engage in learning, make decisions, and pursue action.
You don't want them to choose calming activities that encourage zoning out. Ways to avoid this include discouraging activities you know they have difficulty disengaging from – e.g., video games and online gaming, texting friends, scrolling YouTube. Set time limits around activities.
However, if you are wanting your child alert, and thinking clearly ie in their Calm Dynamic state, you don't want them falling asleep.
The Calm Dynamic mind is not just about relaxing. It's about engagement and action. So, whilst the activities on the menu can be used to relax and soothe the aim in this situation is to help your child access their calm state. You want them to think clearer: lifting the cloud and weight of anxiety enables them to tune in, engage in learning, make decisions, and pursue action.
You don't want them to choose calming activities that encourage zoning out. Ways to avoid this include discouraging activities you know they have difficulty disengaging from – e.g., video games and online gaming, texting friends, scrolling YouTube. Set time limits around activities.
How often should your child be using calming activities?
This article on using the NEON process focuses on addressing school anxiety as it is observed and working through the steps that enables your child to engage in self-care calming activities.
However, the stressful nature of being at school means a proactive approach to mental health is encouraged. Scheduling in regular calming activities allows the brain space to release the build-up of tension.
However, the stressful nature of being at school means a proactive approach to mental health is encouraged. Scheduling in regular calming activities allows the brain space to release the build-up of tension.
What comes next? Your child is in their Calm Dynamic state, now what?
The aim of helping your child manage School Anxiety so that they access their Calm Dynamic Mind is to help them experience School Success.
At a foundational level operating from a state of calm can be seen in ways, such as better sleep, less sibling arguments, fewer morning meltdowns and after-school tantrums.
Being able to recognize, accept, and own their thoughts and feelings and reduce their stress puts your child in a strong place to manage school stress. Let's take a look now on some of the options available from a Calm Dynamic Mind.
At a foundational level operating from a state of calm can be seen in ways, such as better sleep, less sibling arguments, fewer morning meltdowns and after-school tantrums.
Being able to recognize, accept, and own their thoughts and feelings and reduce their stress puts your child in a strong place to manage school stress. Let's take a look now on some of the options available from a Calm Dynamic Mind.
