When you are going through difficult times people often say 'just let me know if I can do anything to help’.
If you find yourself saying 'just let me know if I can do anything to help' to people I challenge you to stop and consider that often the person you are asking may not know what they need or not be in a position to articulate it. Even saying 'is there anything I can do?', is often met with 'nothing', 'I'll let you know' or 'thanks for asking'. Frequently this is a false connection. An attempt at a connection that goes nowhere.
So how do we move beyond this, into showing our kindness and creating connection?
If you know the person you are likely to have an innate sense of what they need. Look around - could they do with a meal, a coffee, someone to make their bed (I so appreciated a freshly made bed when I was struggling to cope with younger children - thank you parents, parent in law and sister in law).
What else helps?
* My aim is for these posts is meant to useful, interesting and/or inspiring. They are not designed to be used for therapy.. If you are experiencing stress please contact your GP or mental health professional.
Kim Ross is a Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds and Essential Self-Care for Psychologists.