This weeks school success tip is to do with improving communication.

Communication is one of the secrets to school success. Communicating with your child, their teachers and other school professionals is all important.

One of the tricky situations is when your child comes home and tells you about something that happened at school. Now you weren't there... and therefore you really don't know what happened. So what do you do? 

Depending on the situation you may want to go full on Mumma Bear, but before you do take the following three steps:.

1. Check in with yourself.  
If you have really strong feelings about what is being reported to you I wonder why.  Maybe a similar thing happened to you at school, maybe it's happened to your child before, or maybe you are just very surprised.  It's important to sit and digest those feelings before responding by sending off an angry email, gossiping about it in the car park or using your crystal ball and imagining the worst possible scenario.

2. Put all this in the context of how your child normally responds to situations.  Do they tend to see the worst or best in a situation?  Are they a sensitive child or rarely show emotion?  Do they have confidence or experience anxiety?  Whatever they are reporting is through the lens of their emotions and personality. 

3. Take some time to gather all the facts you can, or as best your child can remember.
Doing all of this is all important preparation for approaching the school and/or teacher.

Your child will spend about 13 years in the education system (not including pre school). Experience and research have taught us much about creating school success,  Having worked with 1000s of children, adolescents and parents for over 17 years, Positive Young Minds offers private consultations where you can talk about your concerns and we can help you work through a plan to address the tricky bits of your child's educational journey.



​Kim Ross
Child Psychologist, Fierce Self-Care Advocate and Founder of Positive Young Minds​

Do you like school holidays?  Can you take the time to reconnect these holidays?  

​Depending on your family they can be a blessing or a curse. A chance to slow down the weekly grind or routine, or a be source of stress as children out of their routine don't know what do with their unstructured time.  

Whilst we work on creating a school success schedule, how much work do we put into making school holidays a success?

It is also common for issues such as too much screen time to arise; as well as pressures to organise and clean the house and catch up on everything you didn't get to during the term (I hope that's not just me!),

Just a quick hint - try for some out of the house time each day. Have a look at what your local council, youth group, State parks and libraries have on. You may be surprised at their breadth of activities - particularly for primary school aged children.

A quick walk in your nearest park, a trip on a bus or train somewhere, visiting friends or a picnic in the backyard.

Try and make the time to plant your feet on sand, grass or soil. Try and make time to reconnect with your children and your world.

Your child will spend about 13 years in the education system (not including pre school). If your child struggles with school, or you're just about to enter the school system book a consultation and I can help guide you through the tricky bits of your child's educational journey. 

If you prefer to learn on your own time, the Secrets of School Success online self-paced program is opening soon.

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There are nine things I recommend you include in a school success schedule.  

So, why does your child need a schedule?  

WHY CREATE A SCHOOL SUCCESS SCHEDULE? 
​The main reason to set up a school success schedule is to counteract unpredictability and be active in controlling what you can.  

It can be a huge help in managing school anxiety.
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Going through this process helps everyone in the family, particularly your child, know what to expect.  This predictability will help with easing the stress associated with starting a new school year.

When your child starts school for the first time, (or even for the 10th time) there is a shift in routine.  From holiday rhythm to school structure.  This is a huge change and can be a source of stress for parents and children.  

There are also a huge  number of questions that need answers.  Who is doing drop offs, pick ups?  What time do we need to get up, go to bed?  When do we prepare lunches?  What activities are scheduled for after school?  Is that too much, too little?  Reading? Bath or shower in the morning or at night?  How much time people have in the morning really varies. Does your child naturally wake early or late?  Is there a commute to school?  Do they have a bus to catch?  What if they don't want to wear the school uniform?  What if the school uniform is too itchy?

Does your child have meltdowns over school uniforms?  In my last blog I talked about some ways of helping reducing any anxiety your child may have about starting either school for the first time, or changing schools.  Today is about the uniform.  

This is often a contentious issue for children and adolescents I have seen over the years.  Uniforms by virtue of their name are meant to be an equalising factor in the school equation (see what I did there.. a maths reference..).  They are also an important part of the branding for many schools.  

​But as we know not all children fit the one size fits all uniform.  There are many reasons for this - sensory sensitivities is a major factor.  It includes things like - this tie is strangling me, my jumper/pants are itchy, and I hate the feel of school shoes. 

These issues can result in arguments between parents and children and students and their teachers.  However, just a few simple tips can help avoid some of the frustrations that often arise with uniforms.

1. If your child has sensory sensitivities, it is a great idea to have them get used to wearing their school uniform, including the shoes and hat.  If doing this doesn't work, it's time to sit down and negotiate some modifications with the school.

2. Where ever possible see if you can source second hand uniforms - much better for your finances and the environment. And often these are good to help with sensory sensitivities because they are softer.

3. Check what is compulsory and what isn't. Does your child want/need a variation?
Are girls allowed to wear 'shorts'? This is a common one that pops up. If it's not on the list, but is something your child wants to do - this is one worth a call with the school and possibly worth taking a stand on.

Signs of excessive anxiety in your child
These may include them continually asking you the same questions; having nightmares; changes in their eating or sleeping habits or other behaviour; crying or becoming angry for no reason; regressing to previous developmental stages such as wetting the bed, sucking their thumbs; saying they don’t want to go to school; and/or showing no interest in going to school.

Nothing seems to help
If you find these strategies are not helping maybe your child is not ready for school.  There is no evidence supporting that starting your child at school early is beneficial.  In many cases giving them a bonus year at Kindergarten is the best decision.  

Experience and research have told us much about creating school success,  Having worked with 1000s of children, adolescents and parents for over 17 years, Positive Young Minds offers private consultations where you can talk about your concerns and we can help you work through a plan to address the tricky bits of your child's educational journey.

If you prefer to learn on your own time, the Secrets of School Success online self-paced program is opening soon.

Kim Ross
Child Psychologist, Fierce Self-Care Advocate and Founder of Positive Young Minds​
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