Does the thought of Christmas make you break out in a sweat? Does the sight of mince pies and Advent calendars in the shops start your mind racing even when Christmas is over two months away? It’s hard trying to juggle work, being a mum, and Christmas preparations and Christmas overwhelm and anxiety is real. But, there are three things that you can do to create an awesome Christmas and reduce your stress:

• Start with deciding the one thing you must include in your Christmas season.
• Secondly, intentionally create and deepen your connection with yourself, others, the world around you, and the transcendental.
• And lastly, but not least(y) maintain your self-care. Don't scoff. Self-care fatigue may be real, but there are simple ways to include self-care as part of your life and practice self-care at Christmas. 

Learning how to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and experiences in a mindful non judgemental way, may be the key to all the changes you wish to make.

How do you move from overwhelm to calm?

It can feel so daunting.

All the steps, the time and energy involved.  It's all just too much.

Yes, there are many steps.
Yes, any change requires time and energy, discipline and commitment.

And yes, the thought of all these things is often enough to stop you from doing anything.

But,
what if you were to focus on mastering just one skill?

Whether you want to reduce overwhelm, increase your health, increase calm, improve your confidence, deepen connections, or create more sustainable work habits, it all starts with this one thing.

Journaling can help you find and connect with your authentic self.

Have you ever felt lost?
​
Like me, have you felt that somewhere along the way you took a wrong turn, veered of the path, or just became bamboozled with what life threw at you?

It can feel like a battle to create your own space in a world that is often driven by consumerism, material success and 'progress'.

However, there is a growing movement of people who know that tapping into personal and universal energy can create a sense of oneness and wholeness that transcends the artificial.

Welcome to this slow, quiet corner of the world, where you can find practical ways to claim your own space and connect with yourself, others, the environment and beyond.

And you don’t have to claim this space in a huge way with lots of trumpets blaring.

Confidence can be found in the quiet determination as you actively connect with and pursue what is important to you.  

When you discover what matters to you and connect with your values you become part of the movement that is aiming to heal the world.

Now, that’s exciting.

There are many ways to actively connect and pursue what is important to you. Counselling, coaching, manifesting, prayer, meditation, visualisation, goal setting, intention setting, to name a few.

It can be good to start with stepping into some quiet by turning off your phone and taking a break from your online world. 

One way of reconnecting with your authentic self is through writing, or journaling. If you have never tried tapping into the thoughts and emotions inside you in this way, I encourage you to give it a go.

However, many people find there is a slight problem with this.  

Maybe you have experienced putting aside the time, sitting down to write....and then

....your mind goes blank.

You know that your mind isn't actually blank.  In fact you have 10's of 1,000s of thoughts each day.  

What is probably stopping you is the thought of not getting it right.  

• Maybe you're worried about your spelling, or handwriting.  
• Maybe you think that what you have to say is not important.  
• Maybe when you were at school you were criticised for your writing.  

​Or maybe the quiet is unnerving.

We get so used to multi tasking that doing anything without additionally listening or watching something feels wrong.

It’s not called the ‘weight’ of expectations for nothing!
 
Expectations are 'rules' we grow up with.  
 
They create boundaries and provide guidance.  

​For example you are expected to walk before the age of 12-15 months otherwise this is a clear sign of a problem with development.
 
You are expected to do your homework, obey the teacher, eat your dinner etc…. 
 
Society and families create many expectations to encourage behaviour and growth; for the good of your development and that of the broader community.  The general aim is for you to become a functional human being who makes a positive contribution to society.  
 
Then there are individual family differences of expectations based on culture, religion, family structure, birth order, personality etc. 
 
As you entered adolescence you probably rebelled at many/some of these expectations, but you probably also carried many of them into adulthood.  
 
Then you become an adult, and on top of family of origin and society expectations you now have expectations from your work place and expectations from your partner, and maybe your children.  
 
Then comes expectations from schools, sporting clubs, after school activities.  The more you are immersed in society, the bigger collection of expectations you are exposed to.
 
And, if that’s not enough you also have the thick layer of consumer ‘expectations’.  In a world where economic growth is still valued above all else we seem to have really internalised the ‘greed is good’ doctrine in our society.  You are encouraged to buy, to have more, to be good consumers.  It is an insidious expectation.
 
So, what happens when you step back, when you become the observer, when you listen to your noticing self and see the reality of your expectations?
 
You can see the ‘shoulds’ and ‘have tos’ for what they really are; they aren’t rules by which you HAVE to live by, they aren’t absolute truths, they are just THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS your mind is holding on to.  
 
By seeing this you can you can CHOOSE to let go of expectations that have no meaning or value for you.
 
Knowing this you can choose.  
 
You CAN choose to participate in activities that you value, whilst saying NO to things you don’t. 
 
You CAN choose to do things that bring joy to your heart and that of your family.  
 
You CAN choose activities that focus on kindness, gratitude, togetherness.  
 
There is a lot of freedom that comes with being an adult and having so many choices to make.  
 
We might feel the heavy weight of expectations, but when we lose that weight it is not just freeing, it also exposes us and makes it vulnerable.  
 
That is one reason why deciding to choose which expectations you will meet, and which you will leave behind is difficult.  
 
It is your journey.
 
What expectations weigh on you?
 
Where do you find enforcing boundaries difficult?
 
What is most important to you in this world?
 

When you're a busy mum carrying the bulk of the mental load of running a house, raising children and often outside work as well. It's easy to feel disconnected when you are a busy mum; to feel that the life you are leading isn't quite what you expected; to feel unseen, unheard and not valued.

This wasn't what parenting was meant to feel like. That voice inside your head says "I should be spending more time playing with the children, I should be home earlier, I shouldn't yell, I should be calmer."

When you feel that disconnect from how you would like things to be and how they are - where do you start?

In the video I outline one way you can begin to bridge the connection gap. To increase your sense of being valued and create a renewed sense of self.

Working with parents to move from overwhelm to calm is one of the services we offer at Positive Young Minds.