How to Reduce the Stress of Christmas Gift Giving

Do you find buying Christmas presents stressful?  if you do, you are not alone!  

Whether it's buying gifts for adults, friends, relatives, work colleagues or your own children the list can seem never ending.  It's one of the many heavy expectations you can feel at Christmas time.  Below are 14 tips to help you tame that anxiety around Christmas gift shopping and reduce the stress associated with Christmas. 

The two key things to keep in mind when buying Christmas gifts:
🌟 It is experiences that contribute to our happiness. Not stuff! 
🌟The simplest way of making gifts easier is to reduce the number of gifts you buy, and the number of people you give gifts too.  
 
General Tips to reduce Christmas Present Stress

1. Make a list of everyone you feel you should buy for.
2.  Have a look at the list. Why do you feel you need to buy for this person? If it is a coach, a teacher or someone you want to thank, thank them! Either yourself or your child can thank them. Depending on the age of your child they could make a drawing or write them a letter, or write inside a home-made Christmas card. This will be something they treasure.
3. Have another look at your list. How many of the people left on the list to do you buy obligation presents for, and how many are people who are never pleased with what you buy them? Don’t turn yourself inside out trying to please them. Either strike them off your list, give them a pig (goat, chicken, fresh water) from an aid organisation such as World Vision, or buy them something inherently practical. Have a look at this website for ideas https://hereandtheremakers.com. (I can personally vouch for the produce bags.)
4. Who is left on your list? Can you remove them?
5. Can you do a Kris Kringle? There are lots of variations on this *
6. Buy everyone the same thing.  Think a beach towel, movie tickets, itune voucher
7. Remember think reduce. No-one needs more clutter and very few of us need more stuff. 
8. What experience can you give? E.g. A baby sitting voucher, movie tickets, bowling games, a cooking class, bicycle or car maintenance? 
9. Is there something you can make? E.g. Homemade granola, a pot of lavender, a mini herb garden, a chopping board. 
10. Buy from local craft markets.  
11. Buy consumables.  Homemade sauces, jams, theatre tickets etc.
12. Stick to a budget.
13. Keep the receipt.
14. Do you have friends who would be open to putting a challenge on the gift that it has to be second hand, either something you already own or bought from a charity or second hand shop?

*What is a Kris Kringle
A Kris Kringle is when each person buys a gift for just one person in a group, hence reducing excess and cost.  There are many variations.  Names can be drawn and allocated (Secret Santa) or it can be pot luck – everyone brings a gift.  If it is pot luck , here are three variations of how to distribute the gifts.

1. Put the gifts in a row.  If there are 10 gifts write the numbers 1 to 10 on pieces of paper and put them in a hat/bowl.  Everyone draws a number.  People then take turns to choose a gift depending on the number they received in the draw.  So if you drew number one, you go first.
2. The person whose turn it is has a choice of choosing a wrapped gift or taking an already opened gift from someone (pays to go last in this variation!).  ps I would only recommend this option if people are going to have fun with it, and not be upset when someone takes ‘their’ gift.  Christmas Day is not really the day to lecture people about resilience.
3. Put a number on the gift and match it up with the number drawn from the hat.

How to reduce stress when selecting children's gifts
Stress around buying children's gifts comes from a range of sources - wanting to make Christmas special; being presented with a long list of items from your children; you children not knowing what they want; your children having too much stuff (read previous email about a pre-Christmas cull); not having the money to buy what you would like; trying to make up for Christmas' where you have felt disappointed; trying to make Christmas make up for the stressful year you might have had....COVID anyone???

Or maybe you really dislike making decisions and your thinking might go something like mine does on occasion -  This is me looking at underwear - "how much cotton is in this?", "is it organic and/or sustainable cotton", "how much is it?"  "what size are they?", "what style would they like best?"  "what colour /pattern will they like?"  "do they really need them?", "if I buy them this, does that mean I need to buy the others underwear as well?", "do the others need underwear?", "but I only recently bought underwear".  Maybe I won't buy underwear, and then I leave the shop....  

To reduce stress around buying your children gifts start by:

• Identifying where your stress is coming from
• Check your expectations against reality, 
• Create some guidelines for yourself.  Think budget, number of gifts, type of gifts.  The budget is entirely up to you, but remember younger children don't care how much you spend, and older children are nearly always going to put things on the list you can't afford.  
• Remember the law of diminishing satisfaction.  The first present your children unwrap will usually give them the greatest joy. ​
• Introduce a giving practice for your children.  Eg donating a toy, or good, making a card for a neighbour.

What to buy

1. What does your child need? Very young children do not really need much at all, and if you set the tradition early that Christmas is not about how much you get, but about what you do, it won’t be such a big deal as they get older.  And don't be scared to hold gifts back, if you look at what you have bought and it looks too much.
2. Think natural and classic.  Did you know the latest classic toy introduced to the Strong National Museum of Play ....sand.  My kids loved their sand pit when they were little.   Other classic toys include sticks, balls, blankets and playing cards. 
3. Don’t buy something electronic, or if you do, don’t make it the biggest gift.  Why?  You don’t want to be the parent when the gift doesn’t work, and have to line up in JB-HiFi to replace it on Boxing Day, only to be told that they are out of stock.  I've been behind that woman, and it's not a happy moment.
4. If you are buying something with batteries, provide rechargeable batteries as part of the gift, and if possible try to test it beforehand.
5. So what do you do with all the ads on tv and the demands for the latest and greatest? Set the limit, say that Santa/or mum and dad brings three things per child – E.g. a game, a toy/sporting equipment, a book. And stick to it! You may choose to do a stocking with some practical things such as undies, socks, hankies, soaps etc

🌟 Remember the law of diminishing satisfaction.  

The first present your children unwrap will usually give them the greatest joy.  

Of course, gifts are not the only potential stress at Christmas, maybe the Christmas Tree presents a dilemma for you.  I've got that covered as well - with Three Tips to Reduce Christmas Decoration Stress.

Chat soon


Kim
Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds

ps This year I am having a break from the 17th December to the 11th January.  If Christmas is causing you stress, book a time now for some support.  There are limited spots available.    

*updated 6th December 2021