Although I'm not a teacher I know how time consuming writing reports can be, and how much effort it takes to communicate relevant and helpful information.  
 
As a parent how much notice do you take of your child's reports?  Do you read them?  Are they useful? Do you reward your child if they get certain results?  Or express disappointment if their results aren't wonderful?  Personally I'm happy if effort and engagement are rated high. Having children at three different schools means different report styles.  At one of the schools my child's self-ratings across a number of different learning behaviours is presented alongside his teacher's.  This provides a useful tool for self-reflection. Other reports are very sparse.
 
Regardless of the style of the report you may find the following useful to keep in mind when reading your child's school reports.

It is the time of the term for parent-teacher-student interviews.  I go to these, never quite knowing what to expect.
 
The good
One of my most lovely memories of a parent teacher student interview was when one of my children’s  teachers asked to see us so he could tell me how wonderful my child was.  He glowed when he spoke of my child and acknowledged their ability and passion.  .  Unfortunately, a year or so later that teacher died suddenly and his replacement proceeded to do nothing but tell me all the failings of my child in this subject.
 
The bad
I have found myself face to face with a teacher who has told me how badly my child has gone, yet they did not request an interview. 
 
I have had one teacher stand out as being the only negative voice about both my children, over a couple of years and in different subjects.  We stopped booking in with them.
 
The ugly
In a very memorable moment, for all the wrong reasons,  a teacher threw my child’s latest assessment at them and told them they expected more from them.  As the interview continued my child left and the teacher kept on talking to me as if nothing had happened.

So why go...

1. Frequently, my child and I have benefited from the insight of teachers who acknowledge my child’s positive qualities and suggest areas for improvement.  This is helpful in developing a home and school relationship.
2. I can tell which teachers my child has a good relationship with by their body language and interest in communicating with them. 
3. Afterwards it is good to place names with faces when my child talks about their classes, or their relationships with teachers.
   
4. I sometimes find out good things about my children that I never would have known! 

 

If you value being involved in caring relationships, it is possible that you have strong character trait of love.  

However, just because we value being involved in caring relationships with others doesn't make those relationships easy or comfortable; however, it does make us committed to working on these relationships.

Types of love
Love is a character strength and can be categorised in the following way:

• Attachment love: parent for child; child for parent
• Compassionate/altruistic love: kindness
• Companionate love: friendship
• Romantic love: spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend.

There is a term missing from the above types of love - self-love.  Why is this important when relationships involve other people?  Isn't self-love self-ish?  .

In a true loving relationship we acknowledge the other person's good and bad points.  We don't necessarily like their bad points, and sometimes we actively seek to change them.  For example if your child doesn't want to help around the house you may make a plan or a contract with them and work on encouraging them to assist. Their lack of enthusiasm may frustrate you, but you still love them.  So why is this sometimes hard to apply to ourselves?

Practicing self-care is one way we show our self-love.  If this is something you want to do, we have a new 7 Steps to Guilt-Free Self-Care Program starting soon.

All these resources provide information and support either based on evidence and/or subject to continuing evaluation.  They are put forward for your interest, and I am not suggesting they be used in place of therapy.

The first resource below, Smiling Mind provides an easy and convenient way to practice mindful meditation.  MoodGym and Brave are both provide on line self-help strategies.  It looks like MoodGym is undergoing some changes and it is unclear whether it will remain free in the future.  The Brave program can be done in collaboration with your child's psychologist.  

Reach and Beyond Blue have a wide range of information on mental health in young people.  Reach has a new parent forum where you can ask questions and someone will read and respond - both other forum members and a facilitator.  

None of these are substitutes for professional support, but can be a good starting point if you have specific questions you would like answered.  

I have spoken a number of times about being BOLD and taking on new challenges.  Well, this week we had a new addition to our family.  Depending on the family member I can see Neil bringing out different strengths in all of us, including zest, teamwork, love of learning, perspective.  curiosity and appreciation of beauty and excellence.

His name is Neil and he is a guide dog.  We have taken on raising him for about the next 12 months before he is handed over (after a bit more intensive training) to his new owner.  

It is interesting to observe the comments and behaviours of my other family members.  I have heard the sentence, "if this is what it's like to have kids, I don't want any" a couple of times.  Sounds like this child may be developing a bit of perspective.

As a 'new mum' I have woken up in the middle of the night thinking - 'I have heard the dog.  I wonder if he's OK'.  Then I remember he is a dog and not a newborn I need to feed, change, console.  However, there is a similarity with the doubts about whether I am doing the right thing, and the different bits of advice you get from everyone.  Also the constant knowledge that even when he is asleep I need to be alert to his next needs.  

As puppy raisers we have someone on the end of the line we can call, we have a manual and there are scheduled training sessions, there is a puppy raiser Facebook page.  There are also five of us in the family to share the responsibility.  I can't help compare this with the limited support I had when bringing home my first baby (thank you to those who were there for me at the time - it was super appreciated).  I wasn't even part of Facebook then!

Having at least one person to support you is so important for your mental health.  It's one of the reasons Positive Young Minds exists, to be a friendly, accessible form of support.  Don't hesitate to contact me at youngminds.psychology@gmail.com if you would like to connect.

I have spoken a number of times about being BOLD and taking on new challenges.  Well, this week we had a new addition to our family.  Depending on the family member I can see Neil bringing out different strengths in all of us, including zest, teamwork, love of learning, perspective.  curiosity and appreciation of beauty and excellence.

His name is Neil and he is a guide dog.  We have taken on raising him for about the next 12 months before he is handed over (after a bit more intensive training) to his new owner.  

It is interesting to observe the comments and behaviours of my other family members.  I have heard the sentence, "if this is what it's like to have kids, I don't want any" a couple of times.  Sounds like this child may be developing a bit of perspective.

As a 'new mum' I have woken up in the middle of the night thinking - 'I have heard the dog.  I wonder if he's OK'.  Then I remember he is a dog and not a newborn I need to feed, change, console.  However, there is a similarity with the doubts about whether I am doing the right thing, and the different bits of advice you get from everyone.  Also the constant knowledge that even when he is asleep I need to be alert to his next needs.  

As puppy raisers we have someone on the end of the line we can call, we have a manual and there are scheduled training sessions, there is a puppy raiser Facebook page.  There are also five of us in the family to share the responsibility.  I can't help compare this with the limited support I had when bringing home my first baby (thank you to those who were there for me at the time - it was super appreciated).  I wasn't even part of Facebook then!

Having at least one person to support you is so important for your mental health.  It's one of the reasons Positive Young Minds exists, to be a friendly, accessible form of support.  Don't hesitate to contact me at youngminds.psychology@gmail.com if you would like to connect.

Whilst I was talking with someone about all the things that were going on in my life someone said to me “life’s not simple”. 
 
They were right.  Life is not simple, it is complex and messy and confronting.  It is also rapidly changing and sometimes downright scarey.
 
But that is not all it is.
 
It is also beautiful and awe inspiring; exhilarating and wonderous.
 
The challenge is to notice those moments too. 

I wonder how you would feel if you can turn off the news, stop reading the paper, make your favourite drink, find a quiet spot and sip.
 
Take the time to find the simplicity, notice the beautiful.

I did it mum!

 It has now been 9 days since one of my children set out to master the Rubik's cube.   
In my blog on the 26/2/17 I wrote about perseverance and the steps they were taking to achieve their goal.  It is fantastic to see them achieve their goal.

During their journey they have even managed to teach their mother the first few steps.
 I look forward to using their success as an example next time they experience frustration or voice the fact they can't do something.

You will find an infographic about this below.