Do you want your child to be happier?
For many parents I see; this is one of their aims.  Creating a happy book can be a great start.

What is a happy book?
A happy book is generally an A4 display book, where your child can keep things that are special to them.  It can be used as an emotional educational tool.  

Why create a happy book?
Exploring happiness is a great introduction to understanding more difficult emotions such as anger and sadness. Creating a physical space to keep some things that make us feel happy is one way of doing this.  For children it creates something practical they can share with others and talk about how the things in the space make them feel.
 
Materials:

• An A4 display book.
• Photos, or copies of photos of family, pets, best friends, favourite places
• Drawings or descriptions of your child’s favourite things.
• A poem.
• A list of their favourite books
• A story of their favourite holidays.
• A drawing of how they look when they’re happy.
• Coloured pencils/textas/crayons and any other craft material your child likes.

 
Instructions:
Take time with your child to talk about what they want to put into the book.
Discuss how these things make them feel.
Where do they feel happy in their body when they look at the things they are including?
Why do these things make them feel happy?
 
Alternatives:
If you prefer your child could create a happy box and put things that make them happy in there.  You can talk about what is placed in here the same way as you would discuss items in the happy book.
  
This is an ongoing project and can be added to at any time.
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This does not have to be just for children, anyone can make a happy space.  It may be in the form of journaling, scrapbooking, or creating a gratitude wall.
 
Sometimes we need reminding about the good things in our life.  To remember that there are people that love us and care for us; that we have been happy before and therefore we can be happy again.

Please share with someone you think would like to make a happy book .

Family connectedness starts with you.  You can be the calm one in the house.

Stop wishing for the perfect life, the perfect children, and perfect home.  If you find your inner voice saying things that include words like 'should' and 'it's not fair', 'if only' this is an indication that you are experiencing distorted thinking.  Distorted thinking is one of the underlying causes of depression.  If you are having these types of thoughts, chances are you are not feeling very happy.  If you are not feeling happy and positive, it is unlikely your family is happy either.

Start with where you are.  One way to move forward is to practice ABOLD approach.

A:  Awareness.  Notice the thoughts you are having e.g.. 'I wish my child would just do as they are told'.

B:  Breathe.  Take 3 deep breaths.

O:  Own your thought or feeling.  'Isn't that interesting.  I'm having the thought again that I wish my child would just do as they are told'.

L:  Let it go.  You are not your thought.  Often just acknowledging your thought will create a sense of release.  Otherwise there are a range of techniques you can practice.  The following are just a couple of suggestions.  Imagine putting that thought into an envelope and posting it or shaping into a balloon and releasing it.  Or imagine the thought in big letters and then shrinking it down so it fits in the palm of your hand. 

D: Do something.  Ground yourself in the here and now.  Sip water, wriggle your toes, hug your child, go for a walk.  Reclaim yourself and the situation for how it actually is.

Ever heard your teenager say, “thanks mum for suggesting I meditate, I feel so much better”?  No, me neither. 
 
Yes, I know I am a psychologist who helps young people try new things and develop mindfulness in their life.  At the moment in my family though, it does not include them wanting to meditate.
 
However, that is the great thing about practicing mindfulness there are many paths and no one right way.  Engaging in a creative activity or learning a new skill are two of these paths.

 The other day in my family, it was all about the crotchet. ​

As a mum, it is wonderful when your teenager asks you to help them with something.  To me it is affirming that I do still have a positive role I can play in their life.  So, even though my crocheting skills are basic, I was happy to share them, just as my grandmother taught me about 40 years ago.  And I know when I am stuck there is always on line help available from people such as the Crotchet Crowd http://thecrochetcrowd.com to help me.
 
As two of my children sat and crocheted the peace was palpable.  As they concentrated hard on what they were doing, the mindfulness was evident. 
 
There are many articles around on the benefits of engaging in a craft activity such as crocheting.  Check out this one by Dr Sarah McKay https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14252/why-crafting-is-great-for-your-brain-a-neuroscientist-explains.html.
 
If you have a skill you shared with your young person, or your parent or grandparent shared with you, comment below. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and share this article with someone you think would enjoy it. ​