Does your child come home from school complaining about doing mindfulness? Isn't mindfulness meant to be relaxing and fun? Well, that depends.... So why when I start to talk to adolescents about using mindfulness as part of therapy, am I frequently hearing the response "ugh"? So why when I start to talk to adolescents about using mindfulness as part of therapy, am I frequently hearing the response "ugh"? When I ask about this response, it is generally because they did mindfulness meditation at school and didn’t really like it. Some say it was boring - which is usually teen speak for a range of things (they didn't understand it, it made them feel uncomfortable, they couldn't 'do it', and sometimes it means it was just boring).
Some clients say that it increased their anxiety and made them feel worse. When you stop and think about it most people put a lot of time and effort into distracting themselves from distressing thoughts and feelings. Whereas mindfulness can involve tuning into thoughts and feelings. So, is it any wonder they can experience increase in anxiety and stress, when suddenly in the middle of school they are encouraged to stop, be calm and spend time on introspection.
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The lead up to Christmas is often a time of increased stress and anxiety.
The first step to reduce stress and anxiety is to zoom in and identify exactly what is stressing you. Throwing your hands up and saying I hate Christmas, it's all too hard isn't actually that helpful. What exactly is causing the stress. Let's have a closer look at this. Do you feel part of a group of friends? If you answer no, you are not alone.. Nearly 30% of Australians over 18 years of age reported that they rarely or never felt part of a group of friends. Loneliness is not just caused by not having enough friends. Hence the saying that you can feel lonely in a crowd. Feelings of loneliness are to a large extent caused by our perception of our social connectedness. It is related to how connected we feel. The good news is by working on your thinking about social situations you can change how lonely you feel. It's one thing to know that changing our thinking can help reduce our feelings of loneliness.
But how do you change your thinking? Announce that this year there are no gifts
PLUS A BONUS TIP KEEP THE RECEIPT You don’t want to be the parent when the gift doesn’t work, and have to line up in JB-HiFi to replace it on Boxing Day, only to be told that they are out of stock. What is a Kris Kringle? *A Kris Kringle is when each person buys a gift for just one person in a group, hence reducing excess and cost. There are many variations.
If it is pot luck , here are three variations of how to distribute the gifts.
Christmas Day is not really the day to lecture people about resilience. What is your number one tip to reduce Christmas gift stress? Have you tried the 'no gifts this Christmas' one? Drop me an email and let me know. Parenting can be really tough, parenting at Christmas adds another challenge. I get it. You are warmly welcome to join the Positive Young Minds community and get tips about how to increase your calm, confidence and connection. Until next time, take care. Kim xx
Early intervention can make an enormous difference in children's lives. Anxiety and depression impact on functioning. They reduce cognitive flexibility, impair decision making, reduce attention and concentration, impact negatively on friendships, create loneliness. Early intervention helps your child learn about the mind body connection; how thoughts and feelings are connected; and positive strategies for managing their anxiety and depressive symptoms. It can give them tools for life. Your child or adolescent may seem fine on the outside, but if they are asking for help, trust that they need it. Therapy at a young age is playful, engaging, and practical. And depending on the situation, it can be very short term, a couple of sessions can make a difference.
Don't wait to see if they 'grow out' of it. Contact Kim at Positive Young Minds on 0408533515 or email [email protected] to book an appointment to discuss your child's needs. Do you have children aged 5-25? Would you like to share your parenting journey with other parents? You can subscribe and be kept informed about what is coming up in the Positive Young Minds community here. You can also pop over and join us on Facebook. Do you love Christmas but it stresses you out? Do you feel your anxiety increasing when the decorations start being put up in the shops and the first Chocolate Santa is on supermarket shelf? What makes Christmas stressful? It's the same thing that can make the rest of your life stressful! Expectations. Carrying around the ‘shoulds’ and ‘have to’ of Christmas is exhausting, stressful and can cause anxiety. There are ways to manage this, particularly using mindful awareness and self-compassion and create some Christmas calm. Let us take a closer look. Whether you are turning yourself inside out to have things perfect for everyone, provide presents you can't really afford, or spending time with people you would rather not, the expectations at Christmas can really weigh you down |
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Disclaimer* These articles are provided by Kim Ross, Psychologist for general information and education . They are not designed to be used for therapy.. If you are experiencing stress please contact your GP or mental health professional.
AuthorKim Ross is an Online Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds and Private Practice Sustainability. |