Positive Young Minds Psychology
  • COUNSELLING
    • Session Fee Policy
    • FAQ
  • What is Mindfulness?
    • Mindfulness For Children
    • For Teens
    • For Parents
    • Some science behind mindfulness
  • Confident Parenting
    • How to talk to teens
  • About Kim
  • Creating Connection (blog)
  • Psychologists
    • The Victorian Psychologists' Networking Group
    • Peer Mentoring
    • Essential Self-Care for Psychologists

Creating Connection (Blog)

Is teaching mindfulness at schools doing more harm than good?

20/11/2018

0 Comments

 
Does your child come home from school complaining about doing mindfulness?  Isn't mindfulness meant to be relaxing and fun?

Well, that depends....

So why when I start to talk to adolescents about using mindfulness as part of therapy, am I frequently hearing the response "ugh"?
So why when I start to talk to adolescents about using mindfulness as part of therapy, am I frequently hearing the response "ugh"?
When I ask about this response, it is generally because they did mindfulness meditation at school and didn’t really like it. Some say it was boring - which is usually teen speak for a range of things (they didn't understand it, it made them feel uncomfortable, they couldn't 'do it', and sometimes it means it was just boring).

Some clients say that it increased their anxiety and made them feel worse.

When you stop and think about it most people put a lot of time and effort into distracting themselves from distressing thoughts and feelings. Whereas mindfulness can involve tuning into thoughts and feelings.  So, is it any wonder they can experience increase in anxiety and stress, when suddenly in the middle of school they are encouraged to stop, be calm and spend time on introspection.​

Read More
0 Comments

THREE STEPS TO REDUCING STRESS ON CHRISTMAS DAY - STEP ONE

19/11/2018

0 Comments

 
Even though Christmas Day it is still over a month away, the anticipation and lead up to it can cause stress and anxiety. Depending on the amount of stress and anxiety the though of Christmas Day causes, it may be taking up quite a bit of your time and energy now.*   

There are three main steps to reducing stress on Christmas Day.  

The first step is to zoom in and identify exactly what is stressing you.  
Throwing your hands up and saying I hate Christmas, it's all too hard isn't actually that helpful.  What exactly is causing the stress.  Let's have a closer look at this.  

There can be complex reasons why this is not a great time for people.  There are six listed below.  How many stresses on the following list can you identify with?
What else not on the list i cuasing you stress.  

1. Finalising the hosting arrangements. Where to be, who is hosting it? Delegation of tasks. Who is bringing the pudding? Who is attending? In some families this is fairly stable, in other families it swaps and changes every year.

2. Working out the logistics of travel. Are you at one place for the day, or does your Christmas Day involve driving? Do you have enough time to digest before going from one Christmas meal to the next?

3. Loss. How can you honour someone who is no longer with you?  How do you deal with grief, your own and others around you?  
Picture

Read More
0 Comments

HOW TO STOP FEELING LONELY

15/11/2018

 
Do you feel part of a group of friends?

If you answer no, you are not alone..
Nearly 30% of Australians over 18 years of age reported that they rarely or never felt part of a group of friends.  

Australian Loneliness Report
Loneliness is not just caused by not having enough friends.  
 
Hence the saying that you can feel lonely in a crowd.

Feelings of loneliness are to a large extent caused by our perception of our social connectedness.  It is related to how connected we feel.  
​

The good news is by working on your thinking about social situations you can change how lonely you feel.
Picture
Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash
It's one thing to know that changing our thinking can help reduce our feelings of loneliness. 

But how do you change your thinking?

Read More

TOP 10 TIPS TO REDUCE CHRISTMAS GIFT STRESS

13/11/2018

0 Comments

 
Announce that this year there are no gifts
  
  1. Buy everyone the same thing.  Think a beach towel, movie tickets, itune voucher
  2. Buy a charity gift.  Eg chickens/goat/fresh water.  We did this as a class for one child’s Prep teacher, and it was beautifully received.  These gifts start from $5.
  3. Participate in a Kris Kringle *
  4. Announce that this year there are no gifts.
  5. Set a rule that anything given has to be homemade or recycled (you are welcome to use the Positive Young Minds Free Fun Christmas Booklet.  
  6. Buy from local craft markets.  
  7. Buy consumables.  Homemade sauces, jams, theatre tickets etc.
  8. Stick to a budget.
  9. Don’t buy something electronic, or if you do, don’t make it the biggest gift.  Why? You don’t want to be the parent when the gift doesn’t work, and have to line up in JB-HiFi to replace it on Boxing Day, only to be told that they are out of stock.
  10. If you are buying something with batteries, provide rechargeable batteries as part of the gift, and if possible try to test it before hand.
 
PLUS A BONUS TIP
​
KEEP THE RECEIPT

You don’t want to be the parent when the gift doesn’t work, and have to line up in JB-HiFi to replace it on Boxing Day, only to be told that they are out of stock.

Picture
​What is a Kris Kringle?

*A Kris Kringle is when each person buys a gift for just one person in a group, hence reducing excess and cost.  There are many variations.  
  1. Names can be drawn and allocated (Secret Santa) or
  2.  it can be pot luck – everyone brings a gift. 
 
If it is pot luck , here are three variations of how to distribute the gifts.
  1. Put the gifts in a row.  If there are 10 gifts write the numbers 1 to 10 on pieces of paper and put them in a hat/bowl.  Everyone draws a number.  People then take turns to choose a gift depending on the number they received in the draw. So if you drew number one, you go first.
  2. The person whose turn it is has a choice of choosing a wrapped gift or taking an already opened gift from someone (pays to go last in this variation!).  ps I would only recommend this option if people are going to have fun with it, and not be upset when someone takes ‘their’ gift.  Christmas Day is not really the day to lecture people about resilience.
  3. Put a number on the gift and match it up with the number drawn from the hat.
Christmas Day is not really the day to lecture people about resilience.
​What is your number one tip to reduce Christmas gift stress?  Have you tried the 'no gifts this Christmas' one?

​
If you would like to continue this conversation you are welcome join the discussion at the Facebook group Creating Christmas Calm. 

Do you have children aged 5-25?  Would you like to share your parenting journey with other parents?  You can subscribe and be kept informed about what is coming up in the Positive Young Minds community here. You can also pop over and join us on Facebook. ​

0 Comments

WHEN SHOULD YOU TAKE YOUR CHILD TO A PSYCHOLOGIST? - 7 Touchpoints.

8/11/2018

0 Comments

 
  1. When they have a mental health plan. This means their doctor has assessed them as needing assistance.
  2. When there is a high risk of them developing a mental health difficulty - eg family history; past or ongoing trauma; questioning sexuality.
  3. When they have a short-term problem that they could use some help sorting out. Eg transition from a new school, friendship difficulties.
  4. When there is a noticeable change in their behaviour eg change in sleeping, eating, socialising behaviours. 
  5. When they ask to. Your child or adolescent may seem fine on the outside, but if they are asking for help, trust that they need it.
  6. When they require a cognitive, behavioural, social or emotional assessment. This may be recommended by the school, a paediatrician, GP, or through your own observations.
  7. When they have had previous assessments. This allows for review and up to date recommendations and helps you with school advocacy.
Picture
Early intervention can make an enormous difference in children's lives. Anxiety and depression impact on functioning. They reduce cognitive flexibility, impair decision making, reduce attention and concentration, impact negatively on friendships, create loneliness.

Early intervention helps your child learn about the mind body connection; how thoughts and feelings are connected; and positive strategies for managing their anxiety and depressive symptoms.  It can give them tools for life.
Your child or adolescent may seem fine on the outside, but if they are asking for help, trust that they need it.
Therapy at a young age is playful, engaging, and practical. And depending on the situation, it can be very short term, a couple of sessions can make a difference.

Don't wait to see if they 'grow out' of it.

Contact Kim at Positive Young Minds on 0408533515 or email youngminds.psychology@gmail.com to book an appointment to discuss your child's needs.

Do you have children aged 5-25?  Would you like to share your parenting journey with other parents?  You can subscribe and be kept informed about what is coming up in the Positive Young Minds community here. You can also pop over and join us on Facebook. ​
0 Comments

How to make this Christmas easier.  Creating Christmas Calm: busting Christmas expectations.(updated 10th December 2020)

2/11/2018

0 Comments

 
Would you like Christmas to be easier?  

What makes Christmas stressful?  It's the same thing that can make the rest of your life stressful!  Expectations.

Carrying around the ‘shoulds’ and ‘have to’ of Christmas is exhausting, stressful and can cause anxiety.  There are ways to manage this, particularly using mindful awareness and self-compassion and create some Christmas calm.
 
Let us take a closer look.  

So what are expectations?
Expectations are one way society and families encourage behaviour and growth for the good of your development as a child and teenager, and that of the community.  The broad aim is for you to become a functional human being who makes a positive contribution to society.  Expectations are guidelines, written and unwritten rules about behaviour.   For example you are expected to walk before the age of 12-15 months and be talking before starting kindergarten.  You are expected to do your homework, obey the teacher, eat your dinner etc…. You are expected to obey the law, be a good neighbour, a good friend. 

Then there are individual family differences based on culture, religion, family structure, birth order, personality etc.  For example in some cultures girls are expected to be married young, and not pursue further education. 
 
As you entered adolescence you probably rebelled at many/some of these expectations, but you probably also carried many of them into adulthood.  
 
In adulthood, on top of family of origin and society expectations you now have expectations from your work place and expectations from your partner, and maybe your children.  

Expectations at Christmas
What expectations do you experience at Christmas?  To be in more than one place on the day, even though your children just want to stay home with their toys?  To be bright and cheerful, even when  you've stayed up past midnight waiting for your children to go to sleep so Santa can come?  To appreciate whatever gifts you are given, even if it's an iron?  Or are you expected to bite your tongue when Uncle Jack has too much drink and the nastier side comes out?  Maybe your budget doesn't stretch to the presents on your children's wish lists.....

Whether you are turning yourself inside out to have things perfect for everyone, provide presents you can't really afford, or spending time with people you would rather not, the expectations at Christmas can really weigh you down. 

Whether you are turning yourself inside out to have things perfect for everyone, provide presents you can't really afford, or spending time with people you would rather not, the expectations at Christmas can really weigh you down
What can you do to make this Christmas easier, this Christmas calmer?
First, step back.

What happens when you simply observe and notice all the expectations and it feels to have them?  

Look at them again.  Where have they come from?  Are they necessary, important, do they add to your life?
 
Stepping back gives you the space to see what expectations are serving you, and which have no meaning for you.

Seeing this you the space to choose to let go of expectations that are no longer helpful.
 
Making your own choices.
You can choose to participate in activities leading up to Christmas that you value. That bring joy to your heart and that of your family.  You can choose activities that focus on kindness, gratitude, togetherness.  You don’t need to be religious to tap into the good will that exists at this time of the year, where most people are actually actively trying to make other people happy.  
 
Simple things you can do to create a calmer Christmas.
1. Let go of needing everything to be just right on Christmas Day.
2. Let go of finding the perfect gift.
3. Remind yourself of what you and your family actually really like about Christmas - and do that.

There is a lot of freedom that comes with being an adult and having so many choices to make.  We might feel the heavy weight of expectations, but when we lose that weight it is not just freeing, it also exposes us and makes it vulnerable.  

​I think that is one reason why treading your own path at Christmas, in line with your values and not others expectations, is so difficult, but for you, it might be the path to your Christmas calm..  
Combine Van with Christmas Tree.  Creating Christmas Calm.
Combi Van with Christmas Tree. Creating Christmas Calm.

Where do your biggest expectations come from?  I would love to hear from you.  You can email me at kimdunn@positiveyoungminds.com.au.  And if you would like a copy of  The First Step from Overwhelm to Calm, which can help you sort out your non-Christmas expectations click here.   
0 Comments

CREATING CHRISTMAS CALM - TIP 1

1/11/2018

0 Comments

 
 Step One. Work out what is your most important family tradition.
The expectations around Christmas are very real.  The great thing is that as an adult you are free to make your own choices about which expectations you will take on, and which you will choose to ignore. To increase your Christmas Calm decide what is the most important tradition for you family.  

Find out what activities  your family love doing in the lead up to Christmas and do it!


Do you know the number one thing each member in your family loves about Christmas?  

What do you love most about Christmas?  

​Making and following traditions and sharing experiences are two of the glues that keep families together; and Christmas is tradition central!

 In fact it can be tradition overwhelm. But when you know what each person in your family loves and wants to do, you reduce the overwhelm and create Christmas Calm.
Picture
...following traditions and sharing experiences are two of the glues that keep families together,

Read More
0 Comments
    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Categories

    All
    Christmas
    Family Dynamics
    Happiness
    Kindness
    Mindfulness
    Noticing Emotions
    Parenting
    School
    School Holidays
    Self Care
    Simplify
    Sleep
    Strengths

    RSS Feed

    Disclaimer

    * My aim is for these posts is meant to useful, interesting and/or inspiring. They are not designed to be used for therapy..  

    Archives

    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014

    Author

    Kim Dunn is a Child Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds.  

Kim Dunn - Fiercely and mindfully supporting mental health for a calm, confident and connected life.

POSITIVE YOUNG MINDS
Counselling and assessments for children, adolescents and young adults.
THE VICTORIAN PSYCHOLOGISTS' NETWORKING GROUP
The community for psychologists looking to create a sustainable and enjoyable career. Through networking, mentoring, self-care and connection.
ESSENTIAL SELF-CARE FOR PSYCHOLOGISTS.  
​A self-paced course to help you create a practical and flexible self-care plan.


Phone no: +61 408 533 515

    Contact Kim 

Submit
Photo used under Creative Commons from fred_v
  • COUNSELLING
    • Session Fee Policy
    • FAQ
  • What is Mindfulness?
    • Mindfulness For Children
    • For Teens
    • For Parents
    • Some science behind mindfulness
  • Confident Parenting
    • How to talk to teens
  • About Kim
  • Creating Connection (blog)
  • Psychologists
    • The Victorian Psychologists' Networking Group
    • Peer Mentoring
    • Essential Self-Care for Psychologists