Are you sick of chasing happiness? Try this instead.

Emotions are complex.  

Feelings can scare you so much you can shut them down and walk through life feeling numb.  Or may you live your live feeling trapped by anxiety or depression.  Or spend your time chasing the euphoria that comes from happiness, and by trying to create it, miss the moments where it actually exists.  
 
The following three factors are paramount in your emotional self-care:
1. Awareness and acceptance of your emotions;
2. Being able to express emotions in a healthy way;
​and,
3. Doing activities that cultivate joy/happiness.  
 
Let's talk briefly about these three factors.
Very young babies communicate first through their emotions.  Babies cry, scream, laugh ... way before they can talk.  It is how they let others know that they have desires - for food, comfort and sleep -  that need to be met.
 
From birth individual differences are apparent in how intensely babies feel and express their emotions.  Some are born screaming at the top of their lungs - ever notice that some babies don’t just cry a little bit when they are hungry, need changing or tired, they scream at the top of their lungs.  Whereas others are much more contemplative and seem to take it all in their stride.  .  
 
Over time as a baby learns that people will respond to their cries; as they begin first to use movement as communication, and then speech, their emotional response tends to reduce in intensity.  

However, the ability to express emotions varies.  

Emotional overwhelm (meltdowns) may occur when speech language development is delayed, when children are exhausted from not getting their needs (both real and perceived met) and/or when they are coping with high levels of stress.

And so it is with adults.  Have you ever noticed how much easier is to be calm and rational when you have had a full 9=8 hours restful sleep?
 
And lastly a quick look at doing activities that cultivate happiness.  To help you do this I have put some prompts below.  I invite you to actively journal and write down some of your responses.
 
Prompts
🌼When was the last time you felt happy?
🌼In whose company do you feel comfort?
🌼In what activities do you ‘flow’?
🌼When do you lose a sense of time and space and feel that you just 'are'’?
🌼Do you have something to look forward to?
🌼What excites you?
🌼Have you planned to do activities / made time for things that make you smile?
🌼Do you know when people are happiest?
🌼Have you planned to do activities / made time for things that are important to you?

Research indicates that doing what is most important, pursuing a meaningful life may be the true key to happiness.

It also shows that being present and fully in the moment, regardless of what you are doing is also linked to happiness.

Positive Young Minds combines evidence backed knowledge and the experience of working with 1000s of children, adolescents, and parents for over 17 years when working with you and your child.  You can book a private consultation to talk about your concerns, and I can help you and your child with emotional understanding and management, and finding the joy in life. 

Working together to create calm, connection, and confidence.

​Kim Ross
Child Psychologist, Fierce Self-Care Advocate and Founder of Positive Young Minds​

PS. If you enjoyed this blog, then come over and join the The Sprinkles of Wisdom for Wonderful Women Newsletter Club.  You'll receive regular letters from me where I share insights, inspiration, reflections, support and do-able strategies on how you can create and integrate more calm, connection and confidence into your life without running away to Bali.