Being organised and living uncluttered has been a life long struggle of mine, so far. I am frequently reminded by my family that as a child my way of tidying up was to put everything in the wardrobe – including a chair covered with clothes.
Maybe you like me, have bought, read and even implemented much of Marie Kondo’s “The life changing magic of tidying up”. And a year later it looks the same again...
Maybe you’ve tried other methods of organisation such as the Flylady method.
Or maybe you, like me, have been living through the “It’s all too much, I just give up” method.
I like to tell myself that if I was single and didn’t have four other people in the house, only one of whom has any sort of “let’s keep things in order” gene, that things would be different.
Well I’m calling it now – Poppycock! The mess comes from within.
I don’t know about you, but my life is messy. It is full of children and teenagers, sport and music commitments, shift work, emotionally challenging work, struggles to keep fit, making and going to medical appointments, school commitments, making sure there is food in the house and clean clothes to wear. Many of my friends have similar lives and you probably do to.
"I don’t know about you, but my life is messy. It is full of children and teenagers, sport and music commitments, shift work, emotionally challenging work, struggles to keep fit, making and going to medical appointments, school commitments, making sure there is food in the house and clean clothes to wear. Many of my friends have similar lives and you probably do to"
First Awareness, Then Acceptance
In therapy we start with awareness and move on to acceptance.
I accept that I am a ‘messy mum’. I have too many ideas. This results in bursts of energy and then inertia. I struggle with balancing the love of my family with the need to recharge in isolation. I experience feelings of awe and wonder at how privileged my life is; followed by frustration with so much that I still want to do.
I accept that my children are messy. They are wonderful, exciting, and messy. They infuriate me and inspire me – often at the same time.
I live with the messiness and continue to take steps that fit with what is important to me – including simplifying my life, creating community, practicing positive psychology to enhance happiness, and providing opportunities and experiences for my children.
Because being authentic is so important to me, it is an important philosophy behind Positive Young Minds. At Positive Young Minds we acknowledge that life, ourselves and our children are messy. In working with children, adolescents, parents and schools our aim is to be practical, and to help you make things more workable and perhaps a little less messy.
If you have children with messy emotions such as anxiety, depression; problems at school including not wanting to go, difficulties learning, or social isolation; or children need some help dealing with messy lives, we can help with counselling and/or assessments, or parent consultations. You are welcome to contact us now and make an appointment for yourself or your child. If you are not quite ready to do this, have a look at the website, give me a call and or send me an email and I am happy to answer any questions you may have about the process for therapy and/or assessments.
* My aim is for these posts is meant to useful, interesting and/or inspiring. They are not designed to be used for therapy.. If you are experiencing stress please contact your GP or mental health professional.
Kim Ross is a Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds and Essential Self-Care for Psychologists.