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Creating Connection 

Looking for a new way to remain calm?

15/6/2017

 
​I admit it, I get annoyed, irritated, even angry, easily.  Some days it could be something as simple as missing a change of lights and getting stuck in the traffic; not knowing what I'm going to have for tea; my children asking me the same question 20 different times in an hour; or, something totally out of my control like the state of world politics.  Somedays I just wake up irritated due to other stresses.

My brain battles with the fact that the world is not how I would like it to be and is full of "whys and shoulds''.  

Now anger can be a great motivating force for change, however, when directed at things you can't change or don't have the time, energy or inclination to change, it is like banging your head against a brick wall.  

It's hard being angry and annoyed, it takes energy and it hurts the people around me when I am short with my patience or have no space in my world of indignation to listen and be with them. ​

Picture
Remembering to stop and breath is common advice, and when you can do this it helps.  

Why? One of the reasons is that it creates a buffer between emotion and action.  But it is not the only way to create a buffer.  I have been working on some different strategies and I thought if I share them other people may find them useful.  

1.     Awareness - recognition that I am feeling annoyed.  Labelling this emotion.
2.   Making sure I am eating, drinking and walking regularly.  So important to try and maintain a balanced physiology.


But number three is the new strategy I have been trying recently.  I find it is creating a buffer between my feelings and my responses.  I am really pleased with the difference it is making in how I feel.

3.     Rating my annoyance - how important is it that I react to that perceived injustice/annoyance.  I use a scale of 10 and give myself permission to react angrily when the number is an 8 or above.
Interesting when I apply a rating most times it has only been about 2/3 out of 10.


If you think these strategies may help you give them a go and comment below whether they worked or not.  

​If you know someone who may be interested, either tag them or share this post.

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    * My aim is for these posts is meant to useful, interesting and/or inspiring. They are not designed to be used for therapy..  If you are experiencing stress please contact your GP or mental health professional. 

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    Kim Ross is a Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds and Essential Self-Care for Psychologists. 

Kim Ross - helping you learn positive mental health strategies for a calmer, happier and healthier life.

POSITIVE YOUNG MINDS
Creating Calm, Connection and Confidence in yourself and your future.
Positive Young Minds donates 2% of income to initiatives that benefit the environment and/or local mental health of youth.  One of the organisations we support is Bush Heritage Australia. 


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  • HOME
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    • FAQ
    • Online Bookings
    • Links
  • Children & Adolescents
    • COUNSELLING
    • Learning Difficulties
  • Parents
    • How to talk to teens
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