Do you love Christmas but it stresses you out?  

​Do you feel your anxiety increasing when the decorations start being put up in the shops and the first Chocolate Santa is on supermarket shelf?

What makes Christmas stressful?  It's the same thing that can make the rest of your life stressful!  Expectations.

Carrying around the ‘shoulds’ and ‘have to’ of Christmas is exhausting, stressful and can cause anxiety.  There are ways to manage this, particularly using mindful awareness and self-compassion and create some Christmas calm.
 
Let us take a closer look.  

 How do you show love in every day life?  

​How do you show love at Christmas time?.  

At Christmas we can rush around wanting to show our love for our family and friends.  However, this time of the year which combines Christmas time with endings, beginnings and transitions that occur at the end of the year, can often be a stressful time among families.  We often find our frustration tolerance low and and our ability to show our love through kindness and patience can be tested.

There are a number of ways you can create Christmas Calm in  your house.  The following is a reminder to keep our eyes on what is important at Christmas.

1 Corinthians 13 is often used in wedding ceremonies as it is a wonderful illustration of love. The link below will take you to a paralled text of 1 Corinthians 13 that reminds us of the meaning of Christmas: www.appleseeds.org/1_Cor_13_Xmas.htm

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls,
but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals
and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing..

Does Christmas find you feeling lonely? 

Are you looking for easy ways to connect with other people at Christmas?  

Feeling connected is important for your mental health, with strong links between loneliness and depression; social connectedness and feeling happier.  But where do you start?

Changing your mindset around loneliness is an important part of feeling more connected, but gift giving provides you with a unique opportunity to reach out to others in a practical and tangible way.  It's wonderful to be able to choose gifts that reduce Christmas stress, but here's one way you can look beyond traditional gift giving and strengthen your connections.  

Decide on one special thing at Christmas to reduce stress and create lasting memories.
​
 Last night at 11.40pm I was writing a to do list, when I woke this morning I thought of other things to add to the list.  It is the time of the year, school finishing up, deadlines at work, Christmas and all the other day to day things that demand attention.  When we are rushing from one thing to another, how can we make Christmas a mindful time?  Remembering to be present where we are at any particular time is crucial.  What are your anxious signs.  For me awareness that there is tension in my stomach and chest and a feeling that my body needs to be elsewhere is the cue to take a moment and focus on my breathing and remind myself to give all my attention to what I am doing right at that moment.  

A tip I would like to share that helps me reduce the pressure of this time of year is to ask yourself -  What is the one special thing you love about Christmas.  Ask your family or other special people you spend Christmas with what there most favourite thing is.  Concentrate on these things.  It might be Christmas Carols, lights, trimming the tree, cooking the pudding, family gathering, finding the right gift  or something else.  

These are the traditions you create for yourself and your family and these are what you prioritise.  For my children they love Christmas lights so we make sure whatever happens they see lights.  Over the previous years I have made creating a Christmas booklet with quizzes and jokes a priority for a fun focus after Christmas lunch.  I also enjoy making Christmas cards.  This year my priority is on remaining calm at Christmas.  So if as long as people are fed and gifts are given if I remain calm and peaceful everything else is a bonus.  Wishing you a Christmas full of wonderful, special, moments with your loved ones.

For over 17 years, I have combined research and the experience of working with 1000s of children, adolescents and parents to help them understand and manage big emotions and create calmer homes.  Homes where big feelings are understood, needs are met, and relationships strengthened, so that Christmas can be celebrated, not dreaded. If you would like some more support navigating this time of the year you are welcome to book an appointment.

Chat soon

Kim
Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds.
(updated 4th November 2023)

PS. If you enjoyed this blog, then come over and join the Sprinkles of Wisdom for Wonderful Women Newsletter Club. You'll receive regular letters from me where I share insights, inspiration, reflections, support and do-able strategies on how you can create and integrate more calm, connection and confidence into your life without running away to Bali.

A reminder this blog is for general information and advice only. It is not designed to replace therapy in any way. For some people Christmas is not just stressful, it is also traumatic. The above advice is not meant to address Christmas trauma. If you are experiencing trauma, overwhelming Christmas anxiety, depression, or any other mental health concern please see your GP, or your mental health therapist, or see if you think I may be a good fit for you .