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Creating Calm, Connection and Confidence (Blog)

Looking for a new way to remain calm?

15/6/2017

 
​I admit it, I get annoyed, irritated, even angry, easily.  Some days it could be something as simple as missing a change of lights and getting stuck in the traffic; not knowing what I'm going to have for tea; my children asking me the same question 20 different times in an hour; or, something totally out of my control like the state of world politics.  Somedays I just wake up irritated due to other stresses.

My brain battles with the fact that the world is not how I would like it to be and is full of "whys and shoulds''.  

Now anger can be a great motivating force for change, however, when directed at things you can't change or don't have the time, energy or inclination to change, it is like banging your head against a brick wall.  

It's hard being angry and annoyed, it takes energy and it hurts the people around me when I am short with my patience or have no space in my world of indignation to listen and be with them. ​

Picture
Remembering to stop and breath is common advice, and when you can do this it helps.  

Why? One of the reasons is that it creates a buffer between emotion and action.  But it is not the only way to create a buffer.  I have been working on some different strategies and I thought if I share them other people may find them useful.  

1.     Awareness - recognition that I am feeling annoyed.  Labelling this emotion.
2.   Making sure I am eating, drinking and walking regularly.  So important to try and maintain a balanced physiology.


But number three is the new strategy I have been trying recently.  I find it is creating a buffer between my feelings and my responses.  I am really pleased with the difference it is making in how I feel.

3.     Rating my annoyance - how important is it that I react to that perceived injustice/annoyance.  I use a scale of 10 and give myself permission to react angrily when the number is an 8 or above.
Interesting when I apply a rating most times it has only been about 2/3 out of 10.


If you think these strategies may help you give them a go and comment below whether they worked or not.  

​If you know someone who may be interested, either tag them or share this post.

Three ways to reduce annoyance, without changing your thoughts.

15/6/2017

 
I admit it, I get annoyed, irritated, even angry easily.  Some days it could be missing a change of lights and getting stuck in the traffic, not knowing what I'm going to have for tea, my children asking me the same question 20 different times in an hour, or something totally out of my control like the state of world politics.  Somedays I just wake up irritated due to other stresses.

My brain battles with the fact that the world is not how I would like it to be and is full of "whys and shoulds''.  

Now anger can be a great motivating force for change, however, when directed at things you can't change or don't have the time, energy or inclination to change, it is like banging your head against a brick wall.  

It's hard being angry and annoyed, it takes energy and it hurts the people around me when I am short with my patience or have no space in my world perspective of indignation to listen and be with them. ​

Picture
Calming the beast
I have been working on some different strategies and I thought if I share them other people may find them useful.  
1.     Awareness - recognition that I am feeling annoyed.  Labelling this emotion.
2.   Making sure I am eating, drinking and walking regularly.  So important to try and maintain a balanced physiology.


And number three is something I have been trying recently and am really impressed with the difference it is making.

3.     Rating my annoyance - how important is it that I react to that perceived injustice/annoyance.  I use a scale of 10 and give myself permission to react angrily when the number is an 8 or above.
Interesting when I apply a rating most times it has only been about 2/3 out of 10.

If you think these strategies may help you give them a go and comment below whether they worked or not.  If you know someone who may be interested, either tag them or share this post.

​
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    * My aim is for these posts is meant to useful, interesting and/or inspiring. They are not designed to be used for therapy..  

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    Kim Dunn is a Child Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds.  

Kim Dunn - Fiercely and mindfully supporting mental health for a calm, confident and connected life.

POSITIVE YOUNG MINDS - Counselling and assessments for children, adolescents and young adults.
THE VICTORIAN PSYCHOLOGISTS' NETWORKING GROUP - The community for psychologists looking to create a sustainable and enjoyable career. Through networking, mentoring, self-care and connection.
ESSENTIAL SELF-CARE FOR PSYCHOLOGISTS.  A self-paced course to help you create a practical and flexible self-care plan.


Phone no: +61 408 533 515

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  • COUNSELLING
    • Services >
      • Counselling for Children and Adolescents >
        • Client Resources
        • Cancellation policy
        • Confident Parenting >
          • How to talk to teens
          • Happiness Habits
    • Wellbeing Resources
    • What is Mindfulness? >
      • Mindfulness For Children
      • For Teens
      • For Parents
      • Some science behind mindfulness
  • About Kim
    • Living the Mindful Way (blog)
  • Psychologists
    • The Victorian Psychologists' Networking Group >
      • Victorian Psychologists' Networking Group Membership Resources
    • Peer Mentoring
    • Essential Self-Care for Psychologists
    • Burnout, boundaries and brilliance
  • FAQ