There's one thing that's guaranteed to happen at Christmas...
Waiting...
And what can happen when you wait? Frustration, impatience. There's so much to do, why can't everyone just hurry up or move quicker. Well no matter how much you want that to happen, it's probably not going to. So what can you do? Believe it or not, this is a great time to practice tapping into your inner calm. Here's one way to practice self-care on the go. Simply roll your shoulders up and back and take a deep breath, then repeat the breathing. Focus your attention inward to your breath instead of outwards towards what is going on around you. Yep, that's it - simple, on the go self-care that works. For over 17 years, I have combined research and the experience of working with 1000s of children, adolescents and parents to help other women like you integrate mindfulness and prioritise self-care in their busy lives. You are welcome to book a private consultation to discuss your concerns and your goals and work with me to make the change you are looking for. Until next time, take care of YOI Kim A reminder this blog is for general information and advice only. It is not designed to replace therapy in any way. If you are experiencing any mental health concern please see your GP, or your mental health therapist, or see if you think I may be a good fit for you.
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Creating connection involves stepping out of our comfort zone, making changes to how we think and what we do. But it is crucial if we are to combat this scourge of loneliness that surrounds us, that contributes to isolation, mental health difficulties and suicide. So I'm stepping into this mission I have to help you create connections with yourself, others and the greater world. I can't sit by and just accept what is impacting on all of us. It is through strengthening these connections that we raise the positive energy around us that we all need. I welcome you to come along on this journey with me. Today I'm sharing a little video that shows how we can all make a difference, straight away, today with not adding any extra time chores to our list...because we all have way too many as it is. Gift giving is a big part of Christmas. But what gift would you choose for yourself? As part of the 12 gifts of Christmas series, I asked someone what gift they wanted to give themselves, they said gratitude sounded boring. So what would you give yourself? They didn’t hesitate – self-confidence. So that is today’s gift we give to you. The gift of believing in yourself and allowing yourself to do what is important to you. Christmas can be a huge time of self-doubt and events that seem to conspire to delete our self-confidence. Personally when I see people go out to fun work events, or doing wonderful things with their family I can hear this nagging voice that says “see that, why aren’t you doing that? Why don’t you have the ability to make things that like that happen”. Maybe you are lacking the confidence to have the Christmas you want to have, instead of the one that is expected from you. At Christmas a lot of old hurts can show up. You may be catching up with people who have hurt you in the past, and whilst you have been able to practice avoiding them throughout the year, all of a sudden that is no longer possible. And then amongst other expectations at Christmas is that you ‘play nice’ on the day. Or you may be faced with reminders of fractured relationships with people who are living, but are no longer in your life. These reminders can stir up feelings of anger, blame or other negative emotions. For example ex-partners, old friends, estranged children, the list can be long. The commonality is dwelling on things that might have been, that shouldn't have been, the unfairness, the hurt. Or let's face it, you might be cross with your children, your siblings, your parents for things that have happened over the years. Hurts are not always huge, little hurts add up. And they can easily detract from creating a calm Christmas. Forgiveness is an ongoing process of letting go of the hurts and the disappointments that come with human imperfection. I really believe in self-care, but find I can get to the end of the day and realise I actually haven't done it. Running a small business and medium sized family looking after myself is really important, or I will get burnt out. So, I thought this week I would schedule it in. I sat down at the beginning of the week and thought Wednesday morning and Friday afternoon, they look like good times to have a few hours break to myself. Monday and Tuesday I will work on my business doing admin, marketing, exploring possible new sub contractors etc. Wednesday afternoon I have private clients, Thursday I need to work on assessments and client notes/plan, Friday assessment to do. So welcome to Wednesday morning. My youngest has had ongoing minor medical health issues. These popped up again on Tuesday, so first priority this morning was to make an appointment for him and take him. Then my middle child informs me that they, and a number of other students, were excluded from important career sessions at school and they have not been informed of when they will be allowed to catch up. So, parenting task no.2. . Rang middle child's school. The person in charge of careers said they had nothing to do with the careers assessment and gave me a contact name. The person was unavailable. All possible avenues to speak to at the school were unavailable. At this point I have left phone messages with two different people and am waiting for a phone call.
When I dropped my youngest child back at school after their medical appointment I popped in to see the Special Needs Co-ordinator about some of the clients I have at school. Had a quick chat and picked up some paperwork that required action. Okay, so I’m home now, just a couple of admin tasks to do before I could have a work free morning, or an hour or two. Came home and called the parent of the child whose paperwork it was. Received permission to forward paperwork to another professional. Went to scan paperwork that I had picked up, and discovered the scanner on my printer wouldn’t work. I have never used it before. Looked up and tried to follow instructions on website, didn’t work. Contacted HP support. They explored and told me the driver hadn’t been installed properly in the first place. The support person was helpful, and proceeded to fix the problem, but there went more of the morning. When call had finished, scanned documents, sent email. I quickly checked emails and had responded to latest email from potential sub-contractor. Organised information that needed to be dropped off to another allied health professional. By then it was lunch time…… I am currently writing this whilst listening to a work related youtube video, as my first client for this afternoon cancelled. I have ten minutes before I need to go to work. I’ll try again Friday….. ps all was not lost. Wherever I am I can practice informal mindfulness. For example, when waiting in the medical appointment I practiced mindfulness in the chair. Grab it when you can.... Meet Wally. Wally is a Wok. It took me about 10 years to buy Wally. He cost all of $35.
About 10 years ago we had a new gas stove top put in. One of the burners is really hot and the sales person said it would be perfect for Wok cooking. I like to think of myself as a relatively healthy eater, although I know this is very close to being self-delusional. So, I thought great. I like stir fries we'll be a Wok and give it a go. Except we didn't, buy a wok that is. I don't know exactly why not. This is a wonderful example thought of putting off things that are good for us without any real reason what so ever. This includes getting a massage, going back to water aerobics or going to the movies with my husband. I bought Wally today, 10 years later, to make a chicken and vegetable stir fry. I even bought the chicken. Then I got home and took the sticker off Wally and found some small scratches under the big label. He is a non-stick wok, and I hate shopping so I decided that was probably OK. Then I looked at all the steps I had to do to season my wok before first use. I decided that my husband could make fried rice for tea in the frypan and I would write a new blog post. Here's to our self-care journeys. If you know other people who may struggle a little on their self care journeys, please share this blog and make them feel better :). . |
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Disclaimer* These articles are provided by Kim Ross, Psychologist for general information and education . They are not designed to be used for therapy.. If you are experiencing stress please contact your GP or mental health professional.
AuthorKim Ross is an Online Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds and Private Practice Sustainability. Archives
October 2023
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